This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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