I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
