so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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