who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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