i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
