I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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