You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
