we're blogging at a bar
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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