im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
