I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
