she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
