There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
