Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
