Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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