O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
