I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
