and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
