It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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