she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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