She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
