sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
a search helicopter?!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
