either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
