I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
that's an acceptable place to lick
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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