i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
