OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize