can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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