My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
