I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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