Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
