dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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