we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
