Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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