My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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