at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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