; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
