How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
