saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
