I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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