Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
