We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
