i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize