omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
