ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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