Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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