I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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