I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
