So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
