well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
