During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
