are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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