if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
