I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize