OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Houston, we have a blender
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
