Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
well you can't waste a boner
operation have a gay friend backfired
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
