good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
