susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
