There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
