dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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