Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she smelled like a LAN party
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She's like a pop up book from hell.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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