She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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