this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
