im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
