You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
