let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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