i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
