Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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