quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
