hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize