this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize